Cambodian driving tips.

Drivers in Cambodia, where the most common vehicles are scooters, must be old enough to reach the shift pedal and the handle bars while having some part of their tush on the seat. Those unable to do so (7 years old and under) may not drive. Anyone else, you are good to go.

Please limit occupancy on a scooter to one driver, his wife and 4 kids. Any more may not be entirely safe.

Protocol for uncontrolled intersections (all of them). 

A) Do not use the 4 way stop procedure. Instead, use the 4 way go procedure. It's what it sounds like - everyone go. Now. In fact, don't stop when you get to the intersection. If another driver is also going while you are going (duh), honk horn. Repeat. Often. 

B) If making a left hand turn at an intersection, drift into the oncoming traffic before reaching the intersection, make a controlled turn into the oncoming cross traffic. Drive at an acute angle through the oncoming cross traffic and merge into your lane without doing a shoulder check. Should you encounter any on coming traffic during this procedure (duh), respond as in A.

C) If making a right hand turn, just go. Don't look, just go. Honking helps.

D) If proceeding strait through the intersection, see C.

When entering a busy highway from a drive or side street, slow a bit if any of the nearer vehicles coming at you are bigger than the one you are operating. If not, just go. The drivers of smaller vehicles will figure something out.

When travelling on a busy, undivided highway (all of them) please follow these niceties. Pass other vehicles at all times. Even if everybody is going really quickly, find someone to pass. A two lane highway will easily handle 5 lanes of traffic - slower vehicles on the verge, somewhat faster traffic passing the slower traffic (vehicles travelling in both directions should adhere to these procedures). Big, and somewhat faster vehicles (buses, trucks) should pass (constantly) the marginally slower traffic while straddling the centre line. If you are driving a vehicle which is straddling the centre line (and if you're not you're a total sissyass and anyways, why are you driving so slow?) and encounter traffic coming the opposite direction straddling the centre line, perform a quick estimation of the damage each vehicle will sustain in a head on. The vehicle likely to sustain the most damage should pull over into the faster slow area of the not the centre of the road (this is confusing stuff that we really don't have the terminology for yet so work with me). Remember, bigger wins. Of course, the not the centre of the road area that you will be swerving into will be heavily populated with very marginally slower vehicles. Tough tittie. Last time I checked shit ran downhill. You're bigger and slightly faster. Just remember that. And relax. Driving is fun.

Should you wish to test out your Cambodian driving skills, get a job as a mini bus operator and begin shuttling Western tourists from town to town. Should any agnostic aboard fail to make a sudden conversion to Catholicism, or any passenger fail to soil their pants, you are doing it wrong.